Opera Therapy

It’s been a rough week.

· Monday, finances hit a bottleneck
· Tuesday, sick kid & a deadline to meet
· Wednesday, three-hour board meeting
· Thursday, fallout from the Wednesday board meeting
· All on top of a full work-week and personal projects that need constant tending

Friday morning arrives and defeat from a failed project and overwhelm about future projects weigh in on me. Doubt and regret brew in my early-morning coffee and I grumble to my kind-hearted husband who pointedly stands clear as I grab an eight inch knife to cut the breakfast Cantaloupe. Life would be so much better if I didn’t have to deal with other people’s mishegas! (Who hasn’t had that thought at least once?!)

I have got to get a grip so I opt for walking to work (not appreciating the fact that I actually have that option) I wonder and ruminate asking the universe why people act the way they do. The answer comes at once: Opera.

Humanity is a messy ball of wax. We cheat, we lie, we triumph, we lament, we love, we sulk, we fall and we get back up again. Opera embodies all this, it takes our feelings and literally gives them voice. As I schlep I plug in Mozart’s Don Giovanni. From the first terrifyingly thrilling chord I am pulled out of my mind-chatter and suddenly notice that I’m enjoying the walk. I listen to Leporello complain about his job;

Notte e giorno faticar
Rest I’ve none by night or day
Scanty fare and doubtful pay
Ev’ry whim I must fulfil
Take my place whoever will
I myself will go accounting
I the gentleman will play
But with him no more I’ll stay
No,no! But with him no more I’ll stay

Hey, at least my days are not filled with babysitting a sexual psychopath on his journey to destruction. Immediately I feel better about my own situation. The behavior of people that annoyed me an hour ago now seems almost cute. Donna Elvira makes a ferocious entrance seething about the recent ill treatment she has received:

Ah che mi deceemai
Where shall I find a token
To guide my steps to thee?
My heart is nearly broken
The world is dark to me
Ah! If he stood before me
Fiercely his vows I’d spurn
The love that once he bore me
Can never more return!

Donna, darling, we have GOT to talk!

The grip on my negative attitude is released and the self I know and love emerges as Mozart takes my hand and graciously accompanies me up Sixth Avenue.

Grazie Maestro, grazie.

MMN

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Thanks to Mr Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart at Blogspot for the libretto translations

Categories: media

I Cried in Act Two of Madama Butterfly & I Don’t Understand Why

February 8, 2012 1 comment

What’s Opera!?
A New Series Documenting My Induction into the World of Opera
«««««««««««
I knew I was heading into the Met to see a classic for the first time. The rain was pounding on that Tuesday in Manhattan and we fought our way across the wet, windy plaza to slip into the sanctuary of the corner entryway by the Metropolitan Opera gift shop. Dripping with anticipation we shook off the tempest and followed the throng into the heart of the lobby and up the grand stair case with its deep red velvet and gold trim.
I knew enough of Puccini’s opera to recognize the music and the general story line. It was simple; a brash American military man taking a Japanese Geisha and then abandoning her, only returning at the end to collect her child whom he had fathered. I listened to a recording enough times to know the music delivered the emotional equivalent of a sucker punch so I thought myself brilliant to have stashed a couple of tissues in my jacket pocket for the inevitably sad finale. Ah, inexperience, it seems was about to catch me unawares once again.
~
Act one is stunningly beautiful. The set, the music, the costumes, the chiaroscuro of the black raked stage to the brilliant performers and the simplicity of the staging weaves a world that I easily loose myself into. As the opera progresses I fall forward from my steeply raked stadium seat at the back of the house into a soft and alluring divan of music and flowers. I am easily wooed by B. F. Pinkerton knowing his intentions are provisional. I abandon reason for passion as the house fills with fluttering red petals thick as the sheets of rain I ran through earlier and the curtain falls as my own “kimono” falls to the floor leaving me a trembling vessel,naked, aroused and waiting to be consumed. Lights up, I take in a deep breath.

So far so good, it’s everything I was hoping it would be. I wonder around the back of the house lined with those holding standing-room-only tickets who are now sitting on the floor. The house is full so I make my way off to the side to find the ladies room and gaze out the window onto Henry Moore’s “Reclining Figure,” sculpture in its reflecting pool. The rain continues unabated and I am drawn back momentarily into passion and fluttering flower petals.

Madama Butterfly at the Met

A number of folks from my synagogue have tickets to tonight’s performance so we find each other and schmooze on the little landing leading up to the Family Circle seating. Some people are annoyed as they make their way past us but we are all so happy just to be there we ignore the occasional looks and grumblings. Soon we are back in our seats with the lights dimming down and the orchestra warming up. I quickly clean my glasses so I can see everything clearly and we are off to act two. I am glad for having had the break. Intermission cooled my stirrings and brought me back to my senses; I am in control of myself.

Before I know it Butterfly is alone and hopeful. I follow her steps and see the world through her eyes knowing her optimism will not be enough. I even find her annoying with her overbearing sanguinity and naïveté. My legs are restless and I try not to kick the seat in front of me as I shift back and forth. My mood from act 1 is stale and I turn sullen waiting for something to happen when, as if in response to my impatience, a single drip tickles the back of my nose. I dig for my tissue thinking it’s the end of my cold. The “letter duet” with Sharpless is almost at its conclusion when Cio-Cio San reveals her child and my face is suddenly all wet.
I generally equate the rising urge to cry with a tightening of my throat and a squinting of my eyes but I’m not feeling that way at all… “I’m crying.” I tell myself, shocked at my own surprise. Tears are falling from my eyes and I have used up the two tissues I so smartly stashed in my pocket and I can not explain why I am crying. Cio-Cio San and Suzuki are joyfully strewing their home with flowers, the child is happily playing nearby, Pinkerton’s ship is at harbor, the music is bright and overtly positive yet tears are streaming down my face though I still don’t feel the classic symptoms of sadness. What is going on?! My mind has yet to catch up with the emotional response my body is clearly exhibiting and I look around trying to grab hold of something to give me stability and balance. The brilliant white of Cio-Cio San’s robe against the black of the stage blinds me and I cannot make out the translation being broadcast on the LED bar in front of my seat. My eyes blur from fresh tears. I use my sleeve to wipe them as the tissues are now wet and limp in my hand. I settle for listening, temporarily abandoning my attachment to sight. The trio settles in for an evening’s vigil on “the little house on the hill” on-stage. Butterfly awaits the arrival of Pinkerton and I settle into a waiting stance of my own. The tears from my eyes abate and I, in a place of unsettled desire for a futile hopefulness, accept the rising of the house lights as second intermission kicks in and I am returned to my seat in the back of the house at the Met.

Confused, shaken and armed with a fist full of paper towels pulled from the ladies room during intermission I thankfully welcome the fading house lights, pulling the darkness around my shoulders like a familiar blanket. Act 2 part 2 opens with a musical slap across the face followed by a conciliatory hug not unlike a hit from an abusive boyfriend on a beautiful Sunday morning. I know what is to come and I can hardly bear to watch Cio-Cio San’s descent into despair. I maintain my composure until I hear someone two rows behind and slightly to my left sniffle and choke back tears. This is all I need to start weeping openly hoping I don’t descend into noisy sobs. This time my body and mind are in sync as my emotions come into full bloom and I hand myself over to Puccini’s achingly beautiful music loosing much of myself in the process. Catharsis kicks into high gear lifting me out of worldly concerns blotting out all but the inevitable unfolding before me. With heart pounding resolution Butterfly lies dead. Streams of blood-red fabric pour out from her body. We burst forth with applause shouting “Brava,brava!” wiping away collective tears.
~
When my friend, Amy, died from breast cancer in 2008 I recall carrying grief around with me for several days after her funeral. It would unexpectedly rise up with my breath and I’d have to exhale a mournful sigh releasing a bit of the pain every time. As I walked out of the Metropolitan Opera into a post-storm, crystal-clear midnight sky I carried Madama Butterfly home with me. I brought her to work the next day and we had lunch together alone in my office; the sadness still palpable. Such a simple story of a woman caught in circumstances doing her best to retain some modicum of dignity in her simple life. Maybe I identify with her situation more than I care to admit. Still, I really don’t understand why I cried before the familiar pangs of sadness kicked in. Puccini’s orchestration must have been speaking to me in a language I did not intellectually know yet instinctively understood. Was it possible for my body to respond to the music before my mind could contextualize it or did my alter ego, knowing what was to come, just take advantage of the opportunity to get in a good cry? I am not saavy enough in this vastly intellectual world of operatic expertise or psychology to proffer much of an opinion. What I do know is that some tragic truth about the human condition got through to me that night. Puccini, together with the entire ensemble at the MetOpera, fashioned a remarkable production that pierced my hard-polished New York exterior and showed me how delicate I was; how poignant all our lives are.
««««««««««
I used to openly mock the notion of opera.

I had no idea!

MMN

http://www.metoperafamily.org/opera/madama-butterfly-puccini-tickets.aspx

Suddenly Patriotic

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I’m on my way into work as usual thinking about the day ahead when suddenly a surge of patriotism washes over me.
I can’t quite put a finger on why…

Categories: Cybernetic Thoughts, Linkedin Tags:

My Definition of a Lovely Lunch

My definition of a lovely lunch: Start with a fresh apple  (Fuji is good) cut into slices. Add several chunks of a favored cheese like Asiago Fontina or Port Salute and a slice of good artisinal whole grain bread. Fill a small dish with natural peanut butter & place a few select pieces of dark chocolate next to it on your plate. Brew up a decent cup of Earl Grey tea & find a spot where people will leave you be for a while. I like going to Bryant Park on a nice day or slipping into a vacant office to gaze out the window onto Manhattan island while I feast.
You will enjoy the many culinary combinations you are able to make; apple & cheese, bread & cheese, peanut butter & apple, apple & chocolate, chocolate & bread, chocolate & peanut butter, chocolate & peanut butter & bread! The tea helps bring it all together in a harmonic syncopation that warms your entire body.

This makes for a delightful, healthy & impressive lunch that powers you for the remainder of the afternoon.

Have fun & get inspired to improvise.

Obit for a fish

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It is with sadness that we announce the passing of Clyde Carp the 18th, descendant of the famed gangster, Fish Bowl Charlie, and his consort, starlet of the great reflective pool, Goldie Carp.

Clyde led a colorful life as a student in the local fish tank hopping from school to school. His final gig was in a Jewish house of worship where he met Bonnie Cyprinidae Hadassah who was performing as Queen Esther at the Purim carnival. They settled down together in the home of Aaron Newirth, a student at the synagogue Hebrew school.

Mr. Carp died peacefully in the middle of the night nestled between the large colorful marbles in the spacious fish bowl that Bonnie & Clyde had moved into just the day before his untimely passing.

When questioned by authorities the two cats who reside in Aaron’s home, Calypso & Zephyr, were found to be innocent. “I had nothing against my fine finned friend,” Calypso was overheard saying “in my humble opinion he really added to the enjoyment of my day.”

Clyde is survived by Bonnie Hadassah.

Condolences may be posted in the comments section to Aaron Thomas Newirth who was truly distraught this morning at having found the dearly departed.

A private burial will take place for immediate family at sundown.

Saturday Night Tweet

January 12, 2011 1 comment

Saturday night while absorbing the disturbing news pouring out of Arizona I reached my own breaking point. Having personally tolerated the media vitriol for much too long, Jared Loughner’s action only confirmed my fears that enough “Fox Newspeak”  would cause damage in the world. So I did something I try not to do; I picked up my mobile devise and opened up Twitter to post an angry entry. It was a simple statement;
“#giffords and all the collateral damage is tragic & I blame #palin.”
I put my phone down and got ready for bed. By the time I crawled under the blankets I saw my phone blinking. It’s hard to resist that little light tempting you with every passing wink so I took one last look and found a note waiting for me on Twitter.
It read; “and if anything happens to Palin, I’ll hold you responsible, hypocrite”
I could feel the ire rise in my gut as I re-read the message. The hair on the back of my neck pricked with indignation and my comportment became that of a cat ready for fight. I felt under attack just as assuredly as if this guy were physically coming at me with a 2×4.

I am a nice person and I try to stick to relatively benign posts because I really don’t like stirring the pot that much but hypocrite?! Was I being hypocritical? No, I don’t think I was–based upon my understanding of the definition of a hypocrite*. But I had to ask, after berating myself for posting under the influence of rage, was I in the wrong somehow? I decided to sleep on it rather than fire back an off-the-cuff reply. Needless to say I did not sleep well that night. Visions of Twitter feeds slipped in and out of my awareness. Vague feelings of aggression and fear tugged at my temples. Witty come-backs and impassioned diatribes filled my mind as I composed the perfect Tweet to this twit from Texas.

Morning came and in my hazy grogginess with phone in one hand and coffee in another I swyped my reply.
“the day I run national ads citing violence on specific people u may call me hypocrite. Ms. P must account for her words & deeds.” And I went on with my day. I found myself checking Twitter more than ever before in my life. There was something thrilling and maddening about this cross-country argument before an audience of anonymous millions.

The day passed and as the sun set his reply came screaming out of the ether into the devise I was holding in my hand; “actually, twitter is international. Your insipid comments know no borders. And you are asking for violence against Palin.” Several things happened for me in that moment. First off, I got pissed. But the longer I studied his message and gazed at his profile picture taken while he was driving his car the more it dawned on me that here was a human being. He was obviously passionate about his beliefs and maybe he had just about enough of this nonsense too. Compassion welled up within me. He didn’t like my post, I reasoned, it was perceived as a threat to his beloved former Governor of Alaska. Maybe all he wants to do is protect her. I tried to understand how “blame Palin” had become translated by this guy into “violence against Palin”
I don’t want anyone to get violent on anyone. I never called for that! And the moment of clarity rang ever deeper: this man is not responding to me. He’s responding to ‘the other’ that I represent for him. The ‘other’ that he learned to mistrust and fear and hate.  Truth be told I was relating to him in the same light.
My urge to counter attack lessened. “i never said that, you did” my tweet began. “but u r right, I was reactionary & should know better than to post a Tweet when upset. Peace”

End of conversation, for him at least. To date, I’ve never heard back from him which actually makes me sad. The following day I sent him a message:
“so let’s open up a new dialogue. What is your take on the attack on Rep. Giffords? What do we learn from this?”
Then 8 hours later:
“I’m honestly looking for common ground. I want to hear ur thoughts about our current situation. Repairing the world starts here”
And the next morning:
“sad that you seem to only want to insult & not engage in genuine dialogue. I tried.”

Don’t ask me to explain why I still carry this guy around with me but I do: a young Republican, active in his Texas community, probably religious. I wonder what he’s like when he’s not warding off evil liberals like me. I wonder if we’d enjoy each others company if we met and agreed to talk about anything but politics. I wonder what he reads at night. I wonder if we really could just get along.

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*hypocrite-adj: 1- a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion. 2- a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

Cited from Websters Dictionary.com

Categories: media Tags: , , ,
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