A Quick Note to my Sons on their Future

Max & Aaron

Today we are looking at your future. It has become clear that the job we thought we were doing well needs an overhaul. I am just one person and for too long I have used that justification to not get involved, or comment on the sidelines as a spectator. The truth is I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll say or do the wrong thing and then I’ll have to be accountable for that. Well, that’s what being an adult is…being responsible for what I do (or don’t do) and for what I say.

Today I take a stand: I am accountable for your future. What I do belongs to you, your friends and your future. This is not to say I won’t benefit from what I do for I believe you want happy, healthy parents. I promise to think of you first before I make any decisions. Before I buy that dress, I’ll think of you; before I throw out that glass bottle in the garbage can, I’ll think of you. I’ll think of you and ask myself – is there some better decision I could be making right now? It is only by paying attention to the meta moments in life that I have any hope of impacting the massive world out in front of me so that you both have a world you’ll want to raise your grandchildren in.

I love you both more than you will ever be able to imagine, until you have children of your own. I will do what I can to make sure you get that chance.

Here’s to the future – here’s to your future.

Love Mom

Invoke the Damour Act of Decency

Black Friday was a black day, indeed, for a Jamaica, Queens family who will never be able to face an American Thanksgiving weekend the same way ever again. Jdimytai Damour was killed in a Long Island Wal-Mart by roughly 2000 people* stoned on hyper consumerism.

I am ashamed, deeply ashamed of my countrymen and women. I want to point my finger at those people; those stupid, selfish, brain dead idiots and yell “Murderers! Assassins! Cannibals!” but I can’t. The truth is I would be pointing the finger at myself. I am as guilty as the seething mob that blindly trampled on the body of a fellow human being to get to the next sale item. While I made a point of NOT shopping this past Friday or online the following Monday, the blood stains of that young man are on my hands too. I cannot turn away from this tragic, unnecessary loss of life. I wish I could just blame Wal-Mart and be done with it but we drove Wal-Mart to be what it is. Our culture demands that we demand our STUFF and so what if a guy dies getting in-between me and a great deal on a coffee maker or hair dryer or flat screen TV or what ever?

Not anymore!

Mr. Damour’s untimely and completely unnecessary death draws a line I refuse to cross. There is nothing more precious than a life. There is no bargain mark-down or tempting super-offer to make it anything remotely near to acceptable that he was murdered on Black Friday. It is NOT OK!

I propose we institute a Damour Act of Decency where upon we all pledge to put the value of each other above all material things in this world. I want to see TV commercials that tout the amazing properties of a genuine act of compassion, sale signs that promote hugs with every purchase, where the value of a smile and a kind word are splashed across giant billboards along the Jersey Turnpike.

Do not mistake this for some Polyanna remedy to all our problems. The world will still be a dark and scary place. We will continue to grope hopelessly for meaning to our existence but remember that we are capable of transcending our present reality. We are America; we generate possibility. Bring value to human acts of decency; bring value to Jdimytai Damour’s life. Remember him next time you go shopping and invoke the Damour Act of Decency.

MMN – 12/2/08 NYC

*Daily News|NY Local
Gould, Trapasso & Schapiro
Daily News writers Updated Friday, November 28th 2008, 10:46pm